What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to what is happening right now, on purpose, and without trying to change it.

That sounds simple, but most of us spend very little of our day actually here. We are rehearsing a difficult conversation that hasn't happened yet, replaying one that has, scrolling our phones while half-listening to our children, or sitting through a meeting with our thoughts somewhere else entirely. The body is in one place. The mind is in another.

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing the two back together.

What "the present moment" actually means

The present moment is not a feeling, a state of calm, or a particular kind of mood. It is simply this: what is here, right now. It might be the rhythm of your breath, the sensation of your body in the chair, sounds in the room around you, the thoughts moving through your mind, or the emotions sitting somewhere in your body. Whatever is here, mindfulness is the practice of noticing it.

Being present is not about emptying your mind or making yourself feel peaceful. It is about noticing what is already happening, with curiosity rather than judgement.

Why it helps

A great deal of our distress does not come from what is happening, but from our relationship to it. We resist what is uncomfortable, grip what is pleasant, and miss most of what is actually here. Anxiety pulls us into the future. Low mood pulls us into the past. Mindfulness pulls us, gently and repeatedly, back to the only place anything can actually be done about anything: now.

Decades of research show that mindfulness practice can:

• Reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression

• Lower physiological stress and improve sleep

• Help people manage persistent pain by changing their relationship to pain, not by removing it

• Reduce vasomotor symptoms such as hot flushes by up to 40% (Carmody et al., 2011)

• Improve emotional regulation and reduce reactivity

• Strengthen attention, focus and working memory

• Increase self-compassion and reduce harsh self-criticism

• Improve the quality of relationships through better listening and presence

What it is not

Mindfulness is not about sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed, focusing on your breath. That is one form of practice, and for many people it is a beautiful one, but for others it can feel uncomfortable or even distressing. Part of our work together is finding the form of mindfulness that suits you.

Mindfulness is not relaxation, though it can be relaxing. It is not religious, though it has roots in contemplative traditions. It is not a way of bypassing difficult feelings or pretending everything is fine. In fact, mindfulness often involves turning toward what is hard rather than away from it, because what we avoid tends to grow.

It is not about becoming a different person. It is about being more fully the person you already are.

How it shows up in therapy

In sessions, mindfulness is rarely about sitting on a cushion with your eyes closed. It is woven into how we work, noticing what is happening in your body as you tell a difficult story, watching the thoughts that arrive without immediately believing them, learning to feel an emotion without being swept away by it. It becomes a way of being with yourself that, over time, changes how you move through your life.

Self-guided practice

Mindfulness is a skill, which means it grows with practice. I have recorded a small collection of guided mindfulness and grounding audio tracks to help you build that skill in your own time, between sessions or simply when you need them.